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No More Mr. Nice Guy

No More Mr. Nice Guy

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Though that was written by a Mormon, and drops some references to religious things (as does Glover), none of its advice requires religious belief, as there are obvious nonreligious equivalents to everything in it, e.

By focusing on the relationship instead of their partner, recovery Nice Guys are able to use their partner to get in touch with their childhood experiences of abandonment, neglect, abuse, and smothering.The premise of this book is that during their formative years all Nice Guys received messages from their families and the world around them that it was not safe, acceptable, or desirable for them to be who they were, just as they were. His profile can be imagined to fit anyone who fits any part of it, and his causal model can sound like something true for anyone, if you simply imagine that a single instance of mistaken self-blame at any age satisfies it. Even though (as we’ll see) he never really explains what childhood environment, for example, makes any other kind of man, or what a different kind of man even would be apart from one who strives to become an “ex” Nice Guy, let’s assume he just forgot to cover those things in this book. Here Glover has out-of-the-blue thrown common sexual dysfunctions in as if they were deliberately abusive behaviors.

Eldridge explores how Christian men are conditioned to be “nice” and how this robs them of their true masculine selves. By using the Web site, you confirm that you have read, understood, and agreed to be bound by the Terms and Conditions. I have also found that when they share the experience with other nonjudgmental men, their shame diminishes rapidly.

That in mind, if you think you need help with this, the books I’d recommend actually start with Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Alone, it’s good advice (you don’t want to be the opposite of “clear, direct, and expressive”); but in context it can misdirect. No one wants to pay for a real health care system, just as no one wants to pay to put our nation’s kids in front of good teachers in capable schools—we think we can get everything “on the cheap,” but what we really thus get is mostly garbage.

Once trust has been established, he can begin to reveal things about himself that create fear and shame. But as a trivial example, I noticed one disappointed reviewer pointing out how Glover keeps talking about accepting who you are as you are, and then insisting you change who you are. We as a society just don’t see the production of larger quantities of real, evidence-based therapists to be “worthwhile. We get this sexism full-on when Glover outright blames “radical feminism” and its message “that men were bad and/or unnecessary,” which “furthered the belief of many men that if they wanted to be loved and get their needs met, they had to become what they believed women wanted them to be” and “for many men, this meant trying to hide any traits that might cause them to be labeled as ‘bad’ men.Likewise, to try too hard to “be nice” to a partner, without thinking to emotionally connect or communicate with them, need not have any such grand explanation in fossilized immaturity; it can simply be the behavior of an adult who was never taught anything about relationships and hasn’t figured this stuff out yet. Cal tries to get external validation by always being in a good mood, driving a nice car, dressing well, having a cute daughter, and having an attractive wife. Glover never explains what the difference would be between a legitimate, healthy, productive, and appropriate parental chastisement, punishment, or criticism, and whatever he imagines is causing “toxic shame” and thus “Nice Guy Syndrome.

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